


They Serve to Remind

by Alazan



Category: Firefly
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Anger, Angst, Cutting, Derogatory Language, Harry Potter References, I'm Bad At Tagging, Kidnapping, Not magic but social class issue, Simon's branded with the word 'Mudblood' much like Hermione was, Swearing, not a sad ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-19
Updated: 2015-06-19
Packaged: 2018-04-05 03:23:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4163862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alazan/pseuds/Alazan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What's it mean?" Jayne asked. </p><p>"Jayne!" Mal hissed and glared at him. Moments passed and they thought Simon wasn't going to answer. </p><p>"Compared to the way most of you were raised...you all see me as the rich, pompous, prissy bastard that I apparently am. But the fact of the matter is that no matter how hard I hold on to my old ways or the few nice clothes I managed to bring with me...I'm not rich. I'm not powerful. Some time ago my name would have meant something...demanded respect and inspired fear. Truth is...I'm nothing but a fleeting echo. I try to hold on to my past since it's the only thing I know, but it's not what I am now. I'm a fraud. 'Mudblood'. It means dirty blood. Doesn't sound like it but it's highly offensive...the people who took me probably respect you more than they do me Jayne. You may not be up to par with them, but unlike me you know who you are. You're true to yourself. I'm nothing but a dirty fucking lie...and they wanted to make sure I never forget...and I just couldn't stare at it any more."</p>
            </blockquote>





	They Serve to Remind

It was normal when this sort of thing happened. They'd head into some town to make a deal or draw up the terms of a job. Everything seemingly smooth until road bumps makes the ride a difficult one. 

They're separated but eventually they get the goods and finished the job and get paid. Also not that weird is for one of theirs to go missing and need rescuing. Simon being that someone of theirs is also normal. 

Mal and Jayne went on ahead while Zoe manned the ship and had it ready for take up as soon as they got the doc back. They had a few guesses as to whom may have taken the young doctor and for what reason. Or so they thought. 

Once they managed to locate him they were a bit confused by the people they took down. They weren't Alliance or any sort of authority the recognized. They were rich though. All fancy like and prissy. 

Though both Mal and Jayne noticed all of this, they didn't spend too much time dwelling on it. The deeper they went into the compound the louder the screams got. 

Simon's screams. 

When they came to the door where the screams were coming from they knocked it down together. Mal didn't hesitate to pull the trigger on the bastard that was straddling Simon and carving into him with a knife. 

Jayne took out the rest in the room before they hurried to the doc's side. When they crouched down next to him, pushing the bastard that was on top of him off, and they both looked at his arm before sharing a look with each other. 

Simon stopped screaming, but his breathing was labored. He was sweating and bleeding and looked very pale. His eyes were wild and dilated. There was a stench that clung to the doctor and Mal realized that his clothes were soaked. The smell was unmistakable. They'd drenched Simon in fuel of some sort. 

"What's it mean?" Jayne asked as Mal pulled the knife that was still lodged into Simon's side out. 

Mal looked over to where Jayne was looking and frowned. On Simon's overly pale arm that was probably due to blood loss, was a word carved into his skin with something other than a knife. 

 ** _Mudblood_**.

It was red and angry and it made all sort of ill feelings rise inside of Mal. Maybe it was worse because he didn't know what it meant. 

 

"Dunno. Don't matter much now s'much as the doc. We gotta get im outta here." 

Jayne nodded and didn't say much else. Between the two of them, they carefully pulled Simon to his feet. He was dead on them and they had to carry him. Their escape wasn't too eventful, though they did raise a few alarms. 

Serenity couldn't come and get them for a few hours and they needed to hide out until then. Finding a good enough hotel that didn't ask too many questions when Jayne all but carried Simon in a fireman's hold was rather easy for Mal. 

They did their best to clean the doc up. Remove the clothes and wash him so the fuel wouldn't affect the wounds. Though Mal would feel better after the doc had some proper care in the infirmary with some supplies and not just water. The wounds themselves were superficial and just looked worse because they were on the doc. Him and Jayne were soldiers. They fought because they signed up to fight. Scars and wounds were part of their job description. The doc...he was the one who mended wounds, not got 'em.

After they did the best they could, they settled in and waited for a message from Serenity. 

They were tired, very much so. Took turns taking watch, not wanting to be surprised by anyone who might have followed them. 

Simon woke up an hour or so later. He was naked but he was too...out of it to care. 

Mal was asleep on one of the chairs and Jayne got up from his spot as he holstered his gun and approached Simon. 

"You okay doc?"

Simon looked down at himself and his face was mostly stoic until his eyes landed on his arm. Without a word he dashed into the bathroom and closed the door. Jayne looked at the closed door with a frown for a long moment before going over to the Captain and nudging him awake with one hard nudge. 

"Wha!?"

"Doc's awake." 

"Wheres'he?" Mal slurred as he tried to wake up properly.

"Bathroom. Bolted in there all spooked."

Mal sighed and rubbed his eyes. "We haven't the slightest idea what he went through 'fore we got to im. Weren't much time but-"

"Doc's a doc...he ain't no soldier." Jayne supplied and Mal nodded, having had similar thoughts earlier. 

With another sigh Mal heads to the bathroom to make sure Simon was alright. Maybe see if there was anything more they could do while they waited. When the door didn't open, Mal knocked on it. "Doc?" He knocked harder. "Doc!...SIMON!" 

Jayne was there in a second and knocking down the door with practiced ease. The sight before them was unsavory to say the least. Simon had a razor and was cutting at his arm. Mal stepped up and slapped the razor away, while Jayne came up behind him and held him, even as he struggled. 

It was a mess, and not just because of the blood that was seemingly everywhere. Mal managed to stop the bleeding and find something to wrap it and also bring a blanket to cover the Simon's body. 

Both Mal and Jayne went off on Simon about how much he had to live for and he could just leave them like that. To think about the girls. River especially needed him. Kaylee would be devastated. Rest of the crew would also hate the thought of losing the doc with various levels of emotions. 

Simon blinked at them before quietly stating, "I don't want to kill myself."

They stared at him for a moment. Then shared a look before staring at him again. 

"Then what the hell were ya tryin' ta do?" Jayne demanded. 

Simon looked where his arm was covered with the blanket, and he readjusted the blanket to add more to his arm, letting his legs become uncovered. He didn't verbally say anything, but it still spoke volumes to the other two. 

"What's it mean?" Jayne asked. 

"Jayne!" Mal hissed and glared at him.

Moments passed and they thought Simon wasn't going to answer.

"Compared to the way most of you were raised...you all see me as the rich, pompous, prissy bastard that I apparently am. But the fact of the matter is that no matter how hard I hold on to my old ways or the few nice clothes and things from Osiris I managed to bring with me...I'm _not_ rich. I'm _not_ powerful. Some time ago my name would have meant _something_...demanded respect and inspired fear." Simon licked his lips that had gone dry. "Truth is...I'm _nothing_ but a fleeting echo. I try to hold on to my past since it's the only thing I know, but it's not what I am now. I'm a fraud.

"' _Mudblood_ '. It means dirty blood. Tainted, sullied. May not sound like it to you but it's highly offensive...the people who took me probably respect you more than they do me Jayne. You may not be up to par with them by social class, but unlike me you know who you are. You're true to yourself. I'm nothing but a dirty fucking _lie_...and they wanted to make sure I never forget...and I just couldn't stare at it any more." Simon looked down, lightly gliding his fingers over the bandaged area. 

"That's _bullshit_!"

Simon looked up to see Jayne's angry face, but for once it wasn't mad _at_ him, but _for_ him. 

"Yer Simon Tam. Friggen best doc I've ever known and that means somethin'. Means a helluva lot up in Serenity."

Simon was a bit shocked by the declaration, he was unsure what to say. 

"He's right. Sure lot of the time we don't see eye to eye, but we're a crew. All got parts ta play and yer an important one. Serenity just wouldn't work without all it's parts. Don't ya forget that." Mal added. 

Simon looked at them and smiled gratefully but sadly. He appreciated their intent, but they'd missed his. 

"Thank you. I'm actually very grateful for my life on Serenity. Doesn't change the fact that despite that I know how to dress like the people on the core planets, or have an extensive vocabulary...as it stands, you two are richer than me. More valuable. My only worth is my medical knowledge and even then I'm replaceable." 

"Well tough cos ain't no one replacing you." Mal stated, stomping his foot for emphasis. 

"Yeah. I didn't spend all that time gettin' used ta ya just so I'd have to do it over with some new fella who mite'na even been half as good as ya." Jayne grumbled. 

Simon looked from one and the other and couldn't help but chuckle. The two looked at him like he was mad, and maybe he finally was. They had him settle down to get some rest. Serenity would be there soon enough and he'd get a proper check up. As he rested he thought back at the things he was told today. 

The life he knew was gone, but it wasn't really his life as much as the life chosen for him. This life was...unexpected and full of terrors and dangers.

But it also had far more meaning than he expected. 

He ached and hurt all over, the intention was to make him feel hollow and alone. But he wasn't.

Hopefully he'll be able to treat the wound so it wouldn't scar. If it did...it'd bother him sometimes, there's no denying that. It would serve as a reminder. No matter how much time passes there will always be a part of him that misses his old life. But he'll also be reminded of his new life and how much stronger he's become in ways he never thought possible. 

 


End file.
